A Tale From the Simple Life of Fools

October 8, 2013

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HomerRep. Joe Barton (R-TX):

“ We have in my household budget, some bills that have to be paid and some bills that only paid partially.”

THE TALE

“Let’s see,” said the Treasury Secretary from behind a pile of bills, “this month I think we’ll pay Japan and, hmmm, China. Yeah, China. But we’ll just send each a partial payment this month since things are kind of tight what with the sequester and all. They’ll understand. Why just last week I asked my plumber if he could give a few weeks extension on his last invoice. He said, ‘Sure’, so I’m sure China and Japan will understand.”

“We’re going to have to slide on the old folks this month, though. We have a subsidy payout to Exxon-Mobile coming up and that can’t wait. Those guys will have me knee-capped if I try stiff them.”

“OK, Social Security checks on hold for a few weeks until we catch up. And, oh, school lunches …ok, well, we’ll just let them eat Tasty Cakes until Agri-biz subsidies are paid. The kids’ll love that! Don’t want Monsanto poisoning my tea.”

“And maybe I’ll have the wife cook up a pot of soup to send down to the senior center to tide them over until those Tea-party thugs let Boehner off his leash and permit him to let the whole House vote to take us off shut-down —but it’ll be cold day in hell till that happens I suspect. They’ve really got his balls in a sling over there,” he said with a wry smile. “He was weeping in the rotunda again just yesterday.”

“Ok, who else do we have to pay before some irate nation calls in a collection agency or some persuader from the Russian mafia?” he said. “That Putin can get pretty ugly I hear.”

“Isn’t this much better than having to pay all our creditors at once,” the secretary continued, nodding to the president. “Running national finances is just like keeping a household, but with more zeros, excellent health insurance and the possibility of global economic collapse…”
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by Jim Culleny
10/7/13

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