Vatican Gives Indulgences for Twitter
July 19, 2013
Time off is good. The Vatican is demonstrating solidarity with labor by making Twitter-following a legitimate rationale for indulgences is a compassionate cutting-edge move. Reducing the length of time spent in purgatory recalls the work of labor unions to wring indulgences from sweat shop employers that resulted in humane 40 hour work weeks and regular breaks.
Imagine the light-hearted feeling of waking up in purgatory after a surprise encounter with a bus knowing your time on twitter had been transformed into less time in a timeless place. Though mysterious, it’s something the Teamsters and the United Cannery, Agricultural, Packing, and Allied Workers of America (UCAPAWA) can identify with.
Although one Vatican official stressed that getting an indulgence isn’t as easy as clicking the “follow” button (suggesting that there are some strings attached), the convenience will certainly be appreciated by all tweeting sinners.
Thank you Vatican for your solidarity with workers!
Up with hard-labor twitter indulgences!
Eat your heart out Middle-Ages.