Prestidigitation

September 3, 2012

Trickle-down Economics” is a famous illusion created by a cabal of wizards and made popular by a golden-tongued conjurer named Ronald Reagan. It’s been repeatedly performed for thirty or more years by magical conservatives such as H.W. the Magnificent who passed it to his son W. The Not-So.

Following in the footsteps of prestidigitator Ronald the Regrettable have also been Newt The Nefarious and (very simply) Palin —a.k.a Prestidigitaor Pathetique; the not-to-be-believed, the shameless Bamboozeler Bachmann and the greasy Chief of Chicanery Cheney —all supremely skilled in the art of distraction But now (because it’s “his turn”) this long practice of prevarication is in the eminently corruptible (sleight of) hands of that fabulous master of forked-tonguery, the perfectly-coifed, impeccably-suited, master-of-Bain-and-all-he-surveys, the great, the non-empathic, the peerless Now-You-See-It-Now-You-Don’t Marvelous Mitt the Mendacious, disappearer of jobs extraordinaire!

The trick of Trickle-Down involves fabulous but distracting financial moves by cunning adepts that seem to make the national wealth pour out of the sleeves of magicians and drip ever so slowly (as in Chinese water torture) or more aggressively-but-still-illusionarily (as in American waterboarding) upon the poor and middle class but which, in a puff of media smoke, disappears instead into the yachts, multi nouveau-palaces and estates of the conjurers.

The trick is so dazzling that audiences of poor and the credulous soon-to-be-poor scream and stomp the floor in fits of wild, flag-waving standing ovations yelling “Encore, encore!” despite leaving their seats doused with yellow fairy-juice, stripped naked and shivering in the street.

Even we the disbelieving have to hand it to those wizards.  “When you’ve got it, you’ve got it,” said one of the Kochs.

“Ain’t that a disillusioned reality,” murmured one unconvinced spectator with an umbrella, “—in fact, they’ve got most of it.”

by Jim Culleny
9/3/12

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