Vicious Hoodies & Other Homicidal Textiles

March 23, 2012

Apparently clothing is as responsible for murder as people are, according to Geraldo Rivera. This is the same line of thinking that says short skirts and plunging necklines are as responsible for rape as men are.

Actually, men are hardly ever responsible for anything; not greed, indifference, egomania, arrogance, rape, war, financial corruption, political graft, brutality —not responsible, especially white men with money. It’s everyone else who’s responsible; in particular the underclasses and women —the whipping-boys-and-girls and their clothes.

Rivera just weighed in on the Trayvon Martin homicide regarding the murder part of that observation: Hoodies are as depraved as killers, according to Rivera.

It is the Big Moustache’s opinion that callous disregard for human suffering by inanimate objects is an outrage. Clothing must be outlawed (or at least incarcerated in maximum security laundries) to stop the widespread murder and sexual assault caused by textiles.

If what Geraldo says is true then it must also be true that unattractive unkempt moustaches are as responsible for assault as anyone who forceably shaves that annoying thing off Rivera’s upper lip.


“I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was,” Rivera explained. “What’s the instant association? It’s crime scene surveillance tapes. Every time you see someone stick up a 7-11, the kid is wearing a hoodie. Every time you see a mugging on a surveillance camera or get the old lady in the alcove, it’s kid with a hoodie.”

It’s reasonable, therefore, to shoot down anyone wearing a hoodie, and to arrest any employee of The Gap for selling the vicious things.

This is the kind of stupid deep-dish thinking that passes for journalism and political commentary in the USA.  Listen to the statesmen-wannabes running for Chief Republican Nitwit before you decide to argue the point.

I just can’t get over the feeling that we, as a nation, are seriously screwed.

Jim Culleny, 3/23/12
Dangerous White Boys In Hoodies



One Response to “Vicious Hoodies & Other Homicidal Textiles”

  1. […] Homicidal Hoodies . . Share this:DiggRedditStumbleUponTumblrMorePrintFacebookLinkedInTwitterEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Posted by jimculleny Filed in Uncategorized Leave a Comment » […]

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